45 Things that will leave you thinking today

Prepare to read something that could leave you thinking all day.

1. Instead of giving politicians the keys to the city; better to change the lock.

2. The best way to promote reading is by prohibiting it; well said Mark Twain: "Too bad that water is not a sin, it would taste so rich".

3. The best weapon will always be education.

4. To not be the object of envy, do nothing, say nothing, be nobody.

5. The self-help book only helps the writer.

6. It is easier to accept a criticism than a compliment.

7. The golden rule should be: "do not do to the other what you do not like to be done", instead of "do not do to the other what you do not like to be done".

8. Believing in another life implies not believing in this one.

9. When I feel that people agree with me, I perceive that something must be wrong.

10. Talk to someone about yourself, they will listen to you for hours.

11. Nationalism is a social danger.

12. A camel can never see its hump.

13. Contemporary Mexican rulers have had good and original ideas; The problem is that the originals are not good and the good ones are not original.

14. We need a bachelor's degree where you teach yourself to have manners with yourself.

15. A friend listens to you until you contradict him.

16. A cynic is the one who, after killing his parents, pleads for mercy before the judge, arguing that he is an orphan.

17. Never create something that has not been certified in question.

18. I love my doctor, he asks me, "What's your problem?" Later I answer "Dr. what's my problem?".

19. I wonder: Why is it that in some countries the attempted murder with the death penalty is punished?

20. In my generation, divorce is so common, I fear that my friends who are still married, it is only because they want to be original.

21. I wonder: Why is it that whenever someone commits stupidity he excuses himself by arguing: "I'm just following orders"?

22. I have learned that the best way to feel thin is to be surrounded by fat people.

23. You can always detect a mythomaniac, unless you carry it inside.

24. Success is 1% inspiration and 99% good luck.

25. Gossip is the only sound that travels faster than light.

26. I do not understand why people are so upset with the government if they have not done anything.

27. "Try to be happy with what you have", is the infallible formula to achieve mediocrity.

28. The human mind carries a concern that expects to be replaced by another.

29. A bit of pride is like being a little pregnant, it tends irremediably to increase.

30. A free thinker, is a thinker capable of imagining himself believing in anything.

31. One of the most intriguing advantages of a political lie against a cat is that the cat only has nine lives.

32. In Mexico it is in vogue to meditate. At least, that's better than sitting without doing something.

33. One can not remember all the names of those he knows throughout his life; but some breaths are unforgettable.

34. A psychotic thinks that 2 + 2 = 3; while in the Bank of Mexico they know that invariably 2 + 2 = 4, only that they can not tolerate it.

35. Melancholy is no longer what it used to be.

36. We are what we think.

37. The advantage of being poor is that the medicines cure you more quickly.

38. People call reactionary to everyone who thinks differently to oneself.

39. Punctuality in Mexico is the art of intuiting when all others will arrive.

40. The customer service line of my bank, would be the best way to complain about your poor service, if someone answered.

41. The best way to keep a secret, is to forget it.

42. If you ever need a brain transplant; I would choose George W. Bush's, because I want a brain that has never been used.

43. All tourists want the same, go to places where they do not find tourists.

44. If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarianists eat?

45. Orgasms are those who work them.